We all go through times in our life when we lose focus on what we should be doing on life or what’s important. Sometimes it’s because we have to much going on, other times it’s because we’re distracted due to relationships or illness can get in the way of us losing focus.
Recently I’ve found that I lost focus on who I am and some of the foundations on which I live my life by. The distractions for me came from many different areas. One was the end of a relationship that I was in, that I wanted to continue to try to make work. Another was family circumstances. Lastly was of course my Crohn’s disease.
It’s not easy to stay focused while dealing with an IBD. The daily battles can make it hard to wake up each day and know what’s in store or how you’re going to be able to deal with it.
Focus is something that I have to stay on top of. Usually I have many systems to motivate me on a daily basis and try to stick to a routine in order to make life easier. Having post-it notes with saying that motivate me and keep me on track is something that I stopped for some reason. I love being able to wake up to see some of the quotes which I’ve found that keep me going and parallel the foundations that I want to live my life by.
One of these is “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment” which was said by Buddha. Not living like this recently has led me to make poor decisions and make mistakes that I usually wouldn’t have.
I was doing exactly what it tells me not to do. Everyday was spent dwelling on the past and trying to figure out what went wrong and how I could possibly still fix it. At the same time I found myself thinking about what the future could have been and how I still wanted what I saw in store for me if things continued the way they were.
These dreams of the future and thoughts of how my recent past wasn’t what I wanted it to be, put me into a tail spin and I wasn’t finding my way out of it. Now I’m on my way because I know what I want NOW. Not what I’d like in the future.
It might take a little bit of time to get back to normal, but I know that I have to focus on the good things in life that I have going for me and what I can control. Making myself stronger so I can beat my Crohn’s is high on the list, with continuing the work for the Intense Intestines Foundation as well. Lastly is slowly righting the wrongs that I’ve created. But that has to happen naturally, it can’t be forced and thats were not dreaming of the future comes into play.
From this day forward I’m going to be focusing on the day in hand again. Waking up and knowing that right now I can take care of whats ahead of me today. In time I know that this will get me back to the man I want to be and aspire to be. I’ve gotten way from who I try to be and it’s time to get back to the man I was, and try to continue to go from there and create an even better person.